I am a fool for you

I finished reading Through Gates of Splendor (Elisabeth Elliot) last night.  Earlier in the day, I had sat outside reading while the kids played, the sun turning my back and neck to a bright pink. It's a tough book to put down.

My cousin said he felt the book was slow at times, but I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it quite riveting.  The only reason, I felt, it could be "slow", was that I was eager to get to the end to find out God had used the death of these men to quicken the spirits of those around them.  Their lives (and deaths) seem to be like a pebble skipped across the water- waves of ripples spreading far and wide.

While still a student in college Jim had written: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

What wisdom!

I was able to find a few of Jim Elliot's sermons on sermon audio.  So awesome to hear the preaching of a man who was so deeply broken and smitten by Christ's love for him.  I often come across haughty preachers who seem to forget that their hope lies in Christ alone.  I think this is why I really love listening to Paul Washer preach. It is truly evident that Washer is a man broken before God.  While he preaches boldly, he does so from the heart of Christ.  When he rebukes, he does so with the love of Christ.  It is rare to find pastors and preachers who are truly broken before God.

My husband often tells of seeing his father weep for the people of their church.  I can only imagine how that scene must have impacted him as a young boy to see his father- a large man towering over six feet and weighing well over 300 pounds- crumbling before God and weeping for souls of men and women captive to sin.  While his father has been gone for nearly 15 years now, those images remain seared into his memory.

Am I broken for Christ? Am I willing to be made a fool of for Christ?  Do I tremble and weep for the souls of men who are still under God's wrath?

One of my favorite bands (and the only one I personally know!), Broken Vessels, wrote a song that so beautifully expresses Jim Elliot's thoughts:

http://www.brokenvessels.com/!/i_am_a_fool.html

I Am a Fool

Words & Music by:  Tory Dardar

Chorus
I give what I cannot keep
to gain what I cannot lose
I am a fool for You
I am a fool for You

Verse 1
Life is oh so fast
We’re here today then gone the next
For me to live is Christ to die is gain
So with every breath I bless Your name

Verse 2
Death no longer has it’s sting
So thru the valley I can sing
Of how You’ve healed this hurting soul
With a love that won’t let go

Bridge
Our days are numbered
a shadow with no hope
What have I got if I gain the world
and lose my soul

This is one song I hum throughout the day! It's my favorite on their cd!  (Listen to a snippet of it here.)